I want to be a better parent. No, correct that. I NEED to be a better parent. My children NEED me to be a better parent
I don't have much patience for my children. I often snap at them.
Especially if I'm upset about something else going on in my life at the time. Like for example yesterday, I got a text that upset me, and in retrospect I kinda overreacted to it, but when I was right in the middle of it all, I felt so yuck and consumed with anger... my little baby boy was trying to get my attention, he had a book of Ben 10 stickers that he wanted to show me.
Over and over again he was calling out "Mama, Mama, Can you [sic] the sticker for me, can you the sticker for me" and I was just ignoring him. Completely focused on my object of displeasure at that moment. He came right over to where I was on the computer and started to pull at my t-shirt, "Mama, Mama, Can you the sticker for me" Mama, Mama, can you the sticker for me" He was interrupting my brooding, and so I snapped. I screamed "WHAT?!?!??!?!?! at him and gave him the biggest fright - my poor wee darling. He stared gobsmacked for a few seconds and then replied to me (because I've always taught him to respond when an "adult" is asking him a question"
"...Can you sticker for me?" holding out his book of stickers.
I was still full swing in my selfish rage and then just grabbed the stickers, scrumpled them all up and tore out of the lounge as fast as I could.
My poor little innocent 3 year old understandably burst into tears and started to howl so loudly, I was sure the Police would come with Child Youth and Family in tow.
Reflecting on it now the guilt has well and truly set in.
The thing that upset me has completely washed under the bridge, my son has unconditionally forgiven me for my serious shortcomings and everyone is happy. Everyone except me.
I don't know how to fix myself. Is there a course that I can go on? Do I need to hire Super Nanny to help me out?
I need some coping strategies and I need them fast.
Yours truly
Suckful Parent
