Back on the weight loss wagon

Kia ora world, today was my first weigh in since joining weight watchers again. I lost 1.1kg! Whoop whoop!

Goals

Attend a health retreat as professional development for 2009

The purpose of this health retreat is to set aside some real time to focus on my emotional health. I want to be a more assertive person. Of late I have found that I have dealt with conflict in my life in a very passive agressive manner.

3rd day back diagnosis

So it's my third day back on the job - what I've noticed is that I've completely lost my confidence and don't feel like I can do my job properly.  I've been asked to attend a ministerial campaign on Friday and in my mind I was thinking of ways that I can get out of it.  It's times like these that I really appreciate having the excuse of a baby and a 4 year old.  I was also asked to present the orientation certificates and I stuttered my way out of that.  I feel like I can't get in front of people or speak to anybody.  It's horrible!

I've always been a shy person, but not majorly.  I've always managed to get past my shyness enough to make a few friends, or the odd speech or so.  But now I feel as though I just can't do it and it sucks.

I think I care too much about what others think of me.  Like even today I was having my standard run of the mill meeting with a manager and every moment I was wondering if what I was saying was impressing her or my colleague who was also in the room.

One good thing is though that through all of the crap that I've been through in my job I now have the experience and wisdom to know that these feelings will pass and they will make me a better stronger person.  But for now, I better go dig out that EAP number :)

Life

Here I find myself at 5.35am on the Friday before I have to go back to work.  Searching fruitlessly for sleep.  And obviously having no luck whatsoever finding it on the internet.

I'm really dreading the idea of returning to the workplace, not only because I absolutely adore my baby son and each moment I get to spend with him, but also because I kinda hate the place where I work!

That's right I'll just put that right out there - I hate it!  It's a negative pit of despair, or at least that's how I'm feeling about it at the moment.  It's amazing how lucid one can be about life's priorities after three months of maternity leave!

What's really tragic about the whole situation is that I'm the HR manager!  So how's that?  If the HR manager feels this way about the work place then what are the employees supposed to feel?  I'm quite good at masking my hatred of the place though... it's a finely honed skill I've been practising now for over 7 years

It's been just too long!

Hi world!

Well truth be told I completely forgot that I even had a blogger account hence the inactivity up in here...

It was quite awesome though when, after recalling my blog's existence, to come on here after reactivating account and reading up on where I was at over a year ago.  It's kinda of like a time capsule... but instead of digging it up in the back yard of some house that your parents sold years ago, you just have to reset your password... ah the beauty of technology.

Anyhoo...  Life has had it's ups and it's downs.  I will be updating my goals  in another post, because I'm busy exploring my other blogs at the moment... 

So for now, I'll be signing off and hopefully signing back in soon...

Hei kona